Tired and Cold

recomposing my trobled mind,
i was thinking.
what drive into all this?
was it the loneliness or the boredom?
nothing becomes more vivid to human than those.
the feeling of the weather,
the colour of the sky.
i tried very hard to get up in the morning.
the stomach always feel funny.
i don't really want to eat anymore, especially during lunch time.
you are the first person i want to call when i feel sad or happy.
we have to share our emotions for no particular meaning.
you ask me is that love?
who knows...
we are fooling around.
and that's only a four letter word,
no?
who's the beleiver?
i couldn't care less.
i am so fucking afraid because in the end i know i really do god-damn care.
those virtual objects are eating my soul.
the eyes are hurting as much as the 'x'.
when i say 'whatever',
i don't mean whatever.
it's just that i don't know how to face it anymore.
so...
fuck it.
i think i still love you.
more than anything else.
not that the feeling is strong,
but it's not weak neither.
i want to be just like them.
i am jealous.
and mad at the same time.
the fact is that we can't live without the other.
we tell ouselves we can manage.
even in a stage like this.
and i have faith in us.
yea... 'us'
whatever that means.
when i am cold,
i want you to hold me.